F**k Boy Free by Kathleen Richardson

Author:Kathleen Richardson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2019-11-26T15:27:15+00:00

Chapter 6

Heal Your Womb

“When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower”

Alexander Der Heijer

If your womb has been wounded and unhealed, then you will be a magnet to f**k boys. At the age of 4, I was molested. The abuse went on for 7 years and ended when I was 11. Although the acts ended, the pain never stopped. I never said a word to anyone until I was in my twenties. At the age of 4, my fragile, innocent womb took its first crushing blow. When I was 18, it took its next and almost final fatal blow.

The woman’s womb is the seat of her creativity. It holds the key to her magic, power, unique beauty and divinity. Dr. Philip Valentine, author of The Wounded Womb explains, “The womb is the dark-matter core of her universe. Her body is ruled by it-ruled by the mind of her ‘womb-niverse’. It is the center and circumference of all her ‘issues’”. When a woman’s womb has been wounded, she will struggle to find her place in the world and define herself. This inability to self-identify will place her in a very vulnerable state where others will find it easy to project their fears and insecurities onto her. Her womb will become the dumping ground for f**K boys to offload their pain and frustration. We must learn to not let “f**k boys find calm and refuge in between your thighs”. Having a wounded womb means you have become accustomed to the exchange of trauma. Being treated less than you deserve becomes normal. Being abandoned, rejected, used, violated and disrespected becomes the norm in your relationships. And to survive, you find comfort in the familiarity of pain.

The womb of women who have experienced childhood molestation or rape has been violated. But you do not have to be the victim of sexual abuse to have your womb wounded. The rejection or denial of your femininity or your right to exist could also result in a wounded womb. You may have been told that you are too loud, too wild or too free. You may have grown up in a very strict home where your freedom was restricted. Anything that has denied your right to exist exactly as you are is a violation to your womb. I grew up in church where I was constantly subjected to the rules of “holiness” and righteous living. I could only wear skirts to church. They couldn’t be too short or too tight. I was constantly told to keep my legs closed and not have sex until I was married. Sex was considered nasty and sinful. I was made to feel that my inherent sensuality and sexuality was a bad thing that had to be hidden, repressed and denied. I was left confused about what it meant to be a woman. This was another violation to the womb.

Our parents and caregivers subconsciously project their life experiences onto us. As our primary socializing agents, their fears become our fears.

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